I' m at Church. Someone just told me, " I enjoy your sunset and sunrise pictures." An innocent, well-intentioned comment, but it gave me pause. A couple of days ago, I actually started blogging about this very thing. there's so much more to sunrises and sunsets than just beautiful photos. In fact, the beauty of the sky speaks to me.
We moved to Haxtun sixteen years ago this week. The terrain seemed desolate, ugly, and untouched. There was no one around. Everywhere I looked, in any direction from our rented farmhouse, was nothing. I wondered where everyone was, and more importantly, I wondered what the heck I was doing here. I was here because of Jared and he was here because he felt impressed to take the job that Servi-Tech had offered--but was I destined to live a lonely life with my two year-old, the cattle grazing on our landlord's cornstalks, and our new dog?
Interestingly, during those cold, bleak winter months, I didn't think of watching the sunrises and sunsets. January was long, the cupboards were bare, and I was lonely. I didn't think of much other than how bitterly lonely I was. The rest of the world was just an appendage.
Now, things have changed. I live with six people, and while I don't welcome loneliness, I love being alone. I think that's part of the reason I don't mind driving to and from work every day. Alone in the car, I can think, process, and ponder. I have forty minutes each day where I am accountable to no one: Not my students. Not my kids. Not my husband, my parents, my friends. It's just me. Me and God. He reminds me that He is there and that He is interested in me, and He usually does it through a sunset or a sunrise. I love beginning and ending my day by enjoying all that He has given me. Those sunrises and sunsets are not just pictures. They are whispers from a loving Father, confirming His interest in me, giving me strength and courage as I face a new day or helping me summon the courage to end my day. In the hues I see not only color, but character: I see myself, and I see a reflection of who I am trying to become. I see God's hand in my life and I see the virtues which He possesses and which I so desperately need.
A lot of things change in sixteen years. By our standards, that's a very long time. I'm grateful for my twice-daily reminders of god's love. The sky will forever symbolize that to me.
We moved to Haxtun sixteen years ago this week. The terrain seemed desolate, ugly, and untouched. There was no one around. Everywhere I looked, in any direction from our rented farmhouse, was nothing. I wondered where everyone was, and more importantly, I wondered what the heck I was doing here. I was here because of Jared and he was here because he felt impressed to take the job that Servi-Tech had offered--but was I destined to live a lonely life with my two year-old, the cattle grazing on our landlord's cornstalks, and our new dog?
Interestingly, during those cold, bleak winter months, I didn't think of watching the sunrises and sunsets. January was long, the cupboards were bare, and I was lonely. I didn't think of much other than how bitterly lonely I was. The rest of the world was just an appendage.
Now, things have changed. I live with six people, and while I don't welcome loneliness, I love being alone. I think that's part of the reason I don't mind driving to and from work every day. Alone in the car, I can think, process, and ponder. I have forty minutes each day where I am accountable to no one: Not my students. Not my kids. Not my husband, my parents, my friends. It's just me. Me and God. He reminds me that He is there and that He is interested in me, and He usually does it through a sunset or a sunrise. I love beginning and ending my day by enjoying all that He has given me. Those sunrises and sunsets are not just pictures. They are whispers from a loving Father, confirming His interest in me, giving me strength and courage as I face a new day or helping me summon the courage to end my day. In the hues I see not only color, but character: I see myself, and I see a reflection of who I am trying to become. I see God's hand in my life and I see the virtues which He possesses and which I so desperately need.
A lot of things change in sixteen years. By our standards, that's a very long time. I'm grateful for my twice-daily reminders of god's love. The sky will forever symbolize that to me.
Very nice Havi--both the writing and the thoughts. I haven't looked at your blog for a long time, but glad I finally did today.
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