The Place I'm In
The title of this post isn't the best; I've been told a sentence should never end with a preposition. I couldn't help myself, though: I am truly in a good place. And it feels literal and physical, not just metaphorical.
I haven't blogged much for awhile. I haven't journaled much, either, but my thoughts are always there, swirling around my crazy mind. And my heart is one big, open book. I become more honest every day-- I'm not good at hiding my feelings and am sometimes too honest or even blunt (I always regret being blunt, but never being honest. I'm thankful I'm comfortable enough to be honest. I hope I never hurt anyone's feelings. In reality, my goal is just to be authentic, real, and true to myself and my convictions.) Also, I've realized how much I benefit from listening to others who are honest, even about their hardships. I want to be like that. And I think I'm getting there.
Back to this place I'm in, though.
Sometimes, life seems dark. I've had times-- once, several years in a row-- that felt difficult and overwhelming and fairly discouraging. I think we go through that. There's divorce. Death. Heartache. Loss. Pain. Illness. Devastation. Those things are a natural part of life. But they're not fun, and navigating through them with optimism is a real struggle.
Luckily, there are also the times when we're flying high: Times of triumph, achievement, growth, and learning that make life truly joyful. These are the moments we live for.
I've been so lucky to be in a good place for a couple years now. Sure, I've had crappy days. We all do. But, by and large, I've felt God on a daily basis, almost every minute. For whatever reason, that relationship has been working really well for me for awhile.
I've had great opportunities in the last couple of years: The opportunity to be an instrument in God's hands. To make a difference. The chance to watch my kids grow and learn as they go off on their own. The opportunity to be alive and to breathe each day. To see the sun rise and set. And the opportunity to teach. Returning to the classroom was the right thing for me right now. That doesn't mean it's been easy. Working 12-13 hours a day just to stay above water is never fun. But I find there's a real satisfaction that comes from being in the classroom, and I love it. I love the challenge. I love figuring out how to teach something better the next time around. I love connecting with kids. On the flip side, there are several times every day when I questions myself, or think, "Shoot. I could've done_______________. " Or, "I should've said___________. " But I'm learning and growing, and I love this place I'm in. I wish I could bottle this feeling and keep it with me constantly.
I hope you have days when you fall in love with being alive. I hope a part of your heart lives there forever. I hope you love the place you're in.
I haven't blogged much for awhile. I haven't journaled much, either, but my thoughts are always there, swirling around my crazy mind. And my heart is one big, open book. I become more honest every day-- I'm not good at hiding my feelings and am sometimes too honest or even blunt (I always regret being blunt, but never being honest. I'm thankful I'm comfortable enough to be honest. I hope I never hurt anyone's feelings. In reality, my goal is just to be authentic, real, and true to myself and my convictions.) Also, I've realized how much I benefit from listening to others who are honest, even about their hardships. I want to be like that. And I think I'm getting there.
Back to this place I'm in, though.
Sometimes, life seems dark. I've had times-- once, several years in a row-- that felt difficult and overwhelming and fairly discouraging. I think we go through that. There's divorce. Death. Heartache. Loss. Pain. Illness. Devastation. Those things are a natural part of life. But they're not fun, and navigating through them with optimism is a real struggle.
Luckily, there are also the times when we're flying high: Times of triumph, achievement, growth, and learning that make life truly joyful. These are the moments we live for.
I've been so lucky to be in a good place for a couple years now. Sure, I've had crappy days. We all do. But, by and large, I've felt God on a daily basis, almost every minute. For whatever reason, that relationship has been working really well for me for awhile.
I've had great opportunities in the last couple of years: The opportunity to be an instrument in God's hands. To make a difference. The chance to watch my kids grow and learn as they go off on their own. The opportunity to be alive and to breathe each day. To see the sun rise and set. And the opportunity to teach. Returning to the classroom was the right thing for me right now. That doesn't mean it's been easy. Working 12-13 hours a day just to stay above water is never fun. But I find there's a real satisfaction that comes from being in the classroom, and I love it. I love the challenge. I love figuring out how to teach something better the next time around. I love connecting with kids. On the flip side, there are several times every day when I questions myself, or think, "Shoot. I could've done_______________. " Or, "I should've said___________. " But I'm learning and growing, and I love this place I'm in. I wish I could bottle this feeling and keep it with me constantly.
I hope you have days when you fall in love with being alive. I hope a part of your heart lives there forever. I hope you love the place you're in.
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